Drunk Driving Warning

I confessed to Capt. Schmoe today that I am a re-poster of material that I consider to be of good quality. I am not ashamed to admit that there are a lot of creative people out there and I like spreading good stuff around. So here is a Drunk Driving Warning created by a commenter with the nom de net Dwxtracker on the NBC Action Weather blog. It is formated in the manner of the warnings and watches written by the National Weather Service, including the use of all caps.

URGENT - HUMAN INCOMPETENCE MESSAGE
NATIONAL WEATHER SERVICE NORMAN OKLAHOMA
233 PM CST THU DEC 31 2009

...PERIOD OF DRUNK DRIVING THIS EVENING...THROUGH EARLY TOMORROW MORNING...

...SHIPMENTS OF ALCOHOLIC BEVERAGES HAVE BEEN DELIVERED AND PURCHASED ACROSS A LARGE SWATH OF THE LOWER 48. CONSUMPTION OF BEVERAGE SHOULD COMMENCE THIS EVENING AND INCREASE IN AMOUNTS THROUGH EARLY TOMORROW MORNING...AND EFFECTS WILL BE FELT THROUGH SUNRISE FRIDAY MORNING. THE DRINKING COULD BE HEAVY AT TIMES, ESPECIALLY IN THE URBAN AREAS PRODUCING BREATHALYZER READINGS OF .08 AND HIGHER LATER ON THROUGH THE NIGHT, DIMINISHING EARLY TOMORROW MORNING.

/O.UPG.KOUN.DD.A.0004.100101T0100Z-100102T1500Z/
/O.NEW.KOUN.DD.W.0004. 100101T0100Z-100102T1500Z/
ALL 50 UNITED STATES, INCLUDING THE CITIES OF...NEW YORK CITY...SAN FRANCISCO...CHICAGO...KANSAS CITY... MIAMI...SEATTLE...PORTLAND...MINNEAPOLIS...
DES MOINES...HOUSTON...NEW ORLEANS...ATLANTA...DENVER...
PHOENIX...BILLINGS...ORLANDO
333 PM EST THU DEC 31 2009/1133 AM PST THU DEC 31 2009

...DRUNK DRIVING WARNING IN EFFECT FROM 8 PM EST/4 PM
PST THIS EVENING TO 10 AM EST/6 AM PST FRIDAY...

...THE NATIONAL WEATHER SERVICE IN NORMAN OKLAHOMA HAS ISSUED A
DRUNK DRIVING WARNING...WHICH IS IN EFFECT FROM 8 PM EST/4 PM
PST THIS EVENING TO 10 AM EST/6 AM PST FRIDAY. THE DRUNK DRIVING WATCH IS NO LONGER IN EFFECT

* TIMING...DRUNK DRIVING WILL COMMENCE TONIGHT AND CONTINUE THROUGH EARLY TOMORROW MORNING.

* BREATHALYZER READINGS OF .08 OR GREATER ARE EXPECTED. HIGHER READINGS ARE EXPECTED TO BE MORE PERSISTENT NEAR POPULATED AREAS WHICH MAY PRODUCE A READING OF.08 TO .12 IN ONLY A FEW HOURS...WITH EVEN HIGHER READINGS NEAR THE BIGGEST PARTIES THAT MAY EXCEED .12.

* OTHER IMPACTS...DRUNK DRIVING CAN LEAD TO SLOPPY AND RECKLESS DRIVING THAT CAN RESULT IN SEROUS INJURY OR EVEN DEATH. THIS RECKLESS DRIVING IS EXPECTED TO LAST THROUGH TOMORROW MORNING.

...PRECAUTIONARY/PREPAREDNESS ACTIONS...

...A DRUNK DRIVING SNOW WARNING MEANS SIGNIFICANT AMOUNTS OF DRINKING ARE FORECAST IN THE WARNING AREA WHICH WILL MAKE TRAVEL VERY HAZARDOUS OR IMPOSSIBLE. DRUNK DRIVERS TYPICALLY ARE FOUND IN MORE HEAVILY POPULATED AREAS. TIREDNESS IS ALSO A FACTOR, FOR ALMOST EVERYBODY IS GOING TO BE STAYING UP LATE TO CARRY OUT THEIR NEW YEARS TRADITIONS TONIGHT. TRAVEL IS STRONGLY DISCOURAGED IF ALCOHOL HAS BEEN CONSUMED. COMMERCE COULD BE SEVERELY IMPACTED. IF YOU MUST TRAVEL...KEEP AN EXTRA FLASHLIGHT...FOOD...AND WATER...AND AN EMERGENCY FIRST-AIDE IN YOUR VEHICLE IN CASE OF AN EMERGENCY. IF YOU DO PLAN ON CONSUMING ALCOHOLIC BEVERAGES, BE SURE TO HAVE A DESIGNATED DRIVER TO HELP KEEP THE ROADS SAFE.

&&

$$