I have an interest in ADD/ADHD (maybe I have it, no?) and so I like to read stuff about ADD/ADHD when I see it, so when I see this article--linked here--on msnbc, of course I read it. It's about how the moods of parents of ADHD kids go up and down with the kids' behavior.
Are parents really that tied to their kids? Really? See, I'm not a parent, so maybe I don't understand and I never will as long as I don't have kids, but really, parents distressed by kids' behavior to a degree that causes mental health issues?
Maybe it is time for some parents to realize that their children are separate and different from themselves, that they are going to make decisions independent of the parent, and some of those decisions are going to be disagreeable to the parent (against their wishes), some are going to go against the values of the parents, and some of the kiddo's decisions are just going to suck. While parenting does definitely have some influence on kids and their behavior, as you can see reflected in the arguments in the comment section of the article, children are separate and different beings than their parents. They are going to make their own choices in how they behave, and those choices are not always going to be correct or good. It looks to me like many parents have tied their own self regard to the actions and choices of their children to a degree that seems unhealthy.
It's a paradox to me: we have a lot of really selfish self centered "world revolves around me" people running around out there, who seem to have not received much training, discipline or guidance at home from their parents, yet many parents are tied at the hip emotionally to their kids. It just seems odd in light of how young people behave and think these days.
I suppose my own parents had an emotional tie as described in this article, but I don't remember anyone talking about it, either to me, to each other or in the media. Maybe that's my dysfunctional bunch, but I think times were different too. I am not sure the change is for the better!